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Poor Mr. President.  Everyone is calling Barack animal names.  The nicest one of them being a duck.

Even if that is the case, is that really his fault?  I think that sentiment might be better to pin on the people most likely to be on vacation five times this year.  You know, those men and a few women, including the first African American woman ever – all of whom are also most likely to commit adultery or tax fraud while serving in government office.  (Which, in the nefarious circle of Washington politics, will most likely will happen over their large number of vacations.)

But even more confusing is this general tone in the press that we are going to consider Obama’s reign as the years when “nothing got done.”  Does no one remember the deficit and unemployment numbers back when Hope and Change were still considered action verbs?  Yes, even democrats would say today’s economic stats are still not Bill Clinton numbers but didn’t President Obama actually avert the monetary collapse of the free world – which was on the table when he took office?

Which makes me feel for Barry.  Can I call you Barry, Mr. President, giggle giggle Marilyn Monroe style?  I think I also feel for our leader because I sort of feel like a lame duck myself for reasons also beyond my control.

My term as a mother began seven years ago and in that time, I have gotten less done than I did in any six month period before children.  Personally I blame this on my handheld phone, which may be Obama’s problem in a roundabout way.

That’s roundabout way, not round-the-way-girl, as I have already stated I don’t like name calling.

Twitter. Instagram. Spotify. Facebook. Google Maps.  Groupons.  Maybe even needing to supervise a little Mindcraft.  And let’s not forget “old-fashioned” emails.  The ultimate time suck.  These things and a few more that I’m embarrassed to mention (overstock.com) have taken away all my creative thinking moments, and replaced them with the need to answer people in writing.  Which, aside from the shopping, will all be used against me in the court of public opinion so all that correspondence has to be worded carefully.

And that’s just with the PTA mom’s.  Can we imagine for one minute the time commitment in email exchanges between the presidents staff and congressional republicans?

Little known fact, our President’s emails would be considered part of our history as they are his written letters.  So he is not supposed to send them.  (His blackberry was taken away upon his swearing in.  But let’s not hold a blackberry against him.  It was six years ago people.)  So our man-duck in charge does not send cyber notes – not personally anyway – unless he really means it.

But we all know what it’s like when you are fighting with a friend over email.  You are too afraid to forward it to the people on your side, or at least you are after the first time you accidentally hit reply instead of forward with the subject line: “Can you believe I was ever friends with this LOSER!”

After that social media meltdown, you learn to come up with your email response over the phone with your friends before touching anything near the send button.  Which requires half a day depending on what time of the month it is.

That was lunar reference by the way.

So let’s give our man in the oval office a break before we say the fat lady is singing. Because I was in college when I first heard the words “health care reform” and it was another president’s wife who was saying it at that time. And she was saying it awfully loud even then.  We can’t really deem the guy who actually changed America’s health care system – at the expense of all his own possible relationships – a ne’er-do-well, can we?

Remember that The Big Duckie (no offense Jon Cryer) not only has a pen and a phone, he has also fought the good fight for six of the most polarizing years in Washington history.  And he has nothing to lose now since you are already calling him names.  Lets just with the names and see what Barry can pull out of his bill.



  1. max w. ell on Tuesday 18, 2014

    You are so funny Diane. When can we see you on TV next

  2. Gabby on Tuesday 18, 2014

    I love how you always incorporate being a mother with all you do. Acting, writing, politics. I think I have also gotten less done since becoming a mother and it is most certainly because of social medai!

  3. Lisa L. S. on Tuesday 18, 2014

    I remember when you started your Facebook page Diane and I warned you that it was the ultimate time suck. Love the column. xL

  4. Alexa on Tuesday 18, 2014

    I think some of your points are valid but why leave out the real lame, duck or any other animal calls by Obama. SYRIA? IRAN? UKRAINE? MOST OF AFRICA?

  5. Mary M. on Tuesday 18, 2014

    I have always like President Obama also. I do think he is going to be looked at better after his second term is done. I also think that you should keep writing about him while he is in office and can still change the way he is looked upon. Thank you/

  6. don and guy on Tuesday 18, 2014

    If Obama can change gay marriage at the federal level he will be remembered with a rocking party by a percentage of America that will pay homage forever. Go Barry! Go round the way girls!!

  7. karin on Tuesday 18, 2014

    Ha ha. I laughed out loud twice. nice

  8. inez on Tuesday 18, 2014

    Hello Diane we miss you so much on Numb3rs. It is running all the time on cable and it makes it worse! Love to you and your beautiful family. Inez Cohen

  9. bill Rice on Tuesday 18, 2014

    flaming liberals living in California that’s new

  10. Andrea C on Tuesday 18, 2014

    Hi Diane, wondering if you are coming back to The View this year. I think you should have this discussion with Nicole Wallace. I would love to see you and Whoopi discuss this in detail.

  11. Yosef on Tuesday 18, 2014

    Hello there pretty lady. I think you are not in trouble with social media until a dick shot gets out there and you can’t get it back. Until then, keep going.

  12. Hu Chuan on Tuesday 18, 2014

    Hello Diane I have read your books and I am a very big fan of writing. Thank you and is there a place I can write you a personal question?