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Iran has a new publicist and she is a fearless force beneath her Hijab.

Who else could have gotten the world’s most controlling and direct state – you know the government that openly admits they stone people to death for adultery, in public, as if its a sporting event to watch a woman who is buried up to her shoulders die slowly (where, incidentally, an adulterous man is only buried up to his waist and if he escapes – he is free to go) to come out smiling with the most insane PR statement of all time:

that Iran is developing it’s nuclear components for peace.

As if anyone would believe that Iran has an underground nuclear facility because they are so green.  Or that the Ayatollah’s concern for alternate energy sources is why he is allowing his people to suffer through brutal sanctions – rather than to make bombs.

But perhaps even more important than the truth about Iran’s Uranium enrichment – in the world of branding we live in today – is that its new president is pitching a much gentler PR story about the country on the short list for American ire.  Hassan Rouhani, the newly elected and more moderate state leader of Iran, is stealing headlines everyday he shows up at the UN, reinventing the reputation of today’s Iran in a New York minute.

The first seemingly monumental shift was that Rouhani acknowledged the suffering of the Jews at the hands of the Nazi’s in World War Two (which up until September 23, 2013, the Holocaust was considered to be fiction by Iran).  All that actually changed was Iran’s admittance of reality – but welcome to reality Iran!  And welcomed Rouhani was, especially when he also stated that he and his government now have autonomy over Iran’s nuclear development.  This notion is different than any other statement out of Persia since 1979, when it was called Persia, because much to Rouhani’s predecessor’s chagrin, the Ayatollah has publicly trumped the Iranian president on anything he feels like changing.  Including historical events and the rules for getting into heaven or what women are allowed to wear in Tehran… as well as nuclear proliferation.

The propaganda part of this little ditty is two-fold:  1) the Ayatollah is probably still the Mac daddy in most things, but 2) the fact that this nuclear untruth is being wrapped up in pretty sound bites, behind a welcoming Iranian leader – and directed at our secretary of state as well as everyone else’s – tells us Iran is modernizing enough to play the PR game the way we do.  That they are now willing to say they are interested in getting along with others while secretly wanting to control everything. Just like us!

Which really is progress.  Just look what statements like these have done in Burma.  (Or whatever we are supposed to call that military state that Suu Kyi may get to live long enough in to finally take control of, a decade after she was elected to run it.)

Hey, if our president and Iran’s do manage to meet in a hallway of any building, anywhere on earth in the near future, it would be the first time in almost 35 years there would be face to face discussion between our leaders – all due to Rouhani’s words spoken at the mic.  Therefore I long to know the genius publicist who’s behind it.  So if you see someone in the Iranian entourage this week that looks like Kerry Washington does on SCANDAL – smoking hot and moving fast in an outfit that is impossible to move fast in – find out her twitter name and follow it!

Please know that this high heeled and pencil-skirted PR diva is my own little Iranian propaganda story – hoping it will do as much good as the “give the Burmese people a voice” one did… if it ever gets to come true.  Because no doubt some Iranian press secretary/manipulative writer/pr type did come up with how Rouhani should deliver his statements on the Iranian Reinvention Tour, but you could never spot her by her stellar outfit.  Because as of September 24, 2012 we are still not allowed to see any part of an Iranian woman’s outfit other than her shoes as they are walking away from us – back to her home as she is also, generally, not allowed to work. So this Iranian makeover via its new leader was certainly conceived by a man – who was probably educated in America and will now use that knowledge against us while his wife will not even be a side note in this story.

Unless she were to commit adultery.

  1. Anonymous on Friday 25, 2013

    Great article, Diane :) I just wanted to point out that you used “it’s” instead of “its” in many instances… I don’t mean to sound rude, I’m just trying to help as I would want someone to point that out to me in my articles.

  2. Diane Farr on Friday 25, 2013

    bring the grammar help, Anonymous. It takes a village and my editor sat this story out! Thanks for the tips df

  3. d.d. on Friday 25, 2013

    I love your writing. You can make anything sound lively

  4. mary mcdougal on Friday 25, 2013

    I can’t believe how much good press Iran has been getting in America. I hope it isn’t too much to hurt the new president.

  5. ben b on Friday 25, 2013

    I really don’t think most people understand the situation with Iran and how badly pretending their government is not developing nuclear weapons could effect Israel. Perhaps you could, in your mosaic fashion, speak more about the effects of lifting sanctions on the whole area.
    I would also be happy to write something for the blog if you like Diane. I am a teacher.
    thanks for your story

  6. Diane Farr on Friday 25, 2013

    oh Ben b, feel free to put your thoughts on Iran on here. I’m afraid to touch too much of the region with my limited knowledge. Thanks for reading. df

  7. Diane Farr on Friday 25, 2013

    Thank you to all for all the props. I loved this column too! df

  8. WW on Friday 25, 2013

    Isn’t it funny that everything can change in politics and then nothing at all. Although all the movement with Iran seems so important I would guess that our relationship to the dictatorship will remain exactly the same.

  9. Callie on Friday 25, 2013

    I wish that women in Iran could read this article. Or maybe not!

  10. Anonymous on Friday 25, 2013

    I wish that women in Iran could read this article. Or maybe not!

  11. laurie on Friday 25, 2013

    I think you can make anything sound saucy Ms. Farr. Great column. Love the blog. Hope you win. LBB

  12. max w. ell on Friday 25, 2013

    Wouldn’t it be amazing if the relationship with Iran opened up so much that it became the new hip travel destination for Americans? Or are we too prejudiced against brown people now for that to ever happen? w.ell

  13. bill Rice on Friday 25, 2013

    I love your writing. Where can I find your syndicated column?
    Alll the best

  14. frankie P on Friday 25, 2013

    I just saw season three of Californication and you were awesome in it. One of the most authentic characters yet. Big fan!!

  15. Diane Farr on Friday 25, 2013

    thank you bill. My column is put out by Tribune, in America and all their English language papers around the world. it is called Humor Hotel. I’m told the best way to find it is to put my name in a Google search and it should pop up each month.
    thanks, df