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What do second-generation American family values look like? Writer and actress Diane Farr shares her Korean-Irish-Italian American family’s take.

“Do it because I am your mother, and I said so!” I sternly told my 5-year-old, after some infraction that seemed uber-important at that moment.

Until the next moment when I actually heard these words come out of my mouth—and I cringed. When I looked over at my husband, Seung Yong, his face was just as scrunched up and confused as mine.

We catch ourselves doing this a lot as parents of young children: mimicking a command we both heard throughout our own childhoods, and then realizing it doesn’t really fit in with the rest of our parenting model. For Seung Yong, the son of Korean immigrants, this idea of obeying your parents, without question, was a given. Such respect for elders is one of the core values his parents imparted to him. This was also the case with my first-generation European American parents. Add to that concept… [Read More at]


  1. Nicole on Friday 4, 2013

    The family is so adorable. :)

  2. Radka on Friday 4, 2013

    This is a very nice family! :)

  3. paul ryan on Friday 4, 2013

    You have to be a very confident person to allow a very fun picture of your whole family rather than the JCPenny posed beauty picture. I like everything about Diane Farr and her cool husband

  4. alice doesn't live here on Friday 4, 2013

    Wow you have the cutest family. I read your book, after I found your articles and I feel like I know you all. I have a friend I’m going to buy it for who is having a very hard time with her family because she is in love with a black person. Thank you for tackling such an important subject.

  5. william on Friday 4, 2013

    Look at you in KoreAm. I think you are an honorary Korean. And the family is really beautiful.

  6. Sarah Ruf on Friday 4, 2013

    I love your parenting advice here, and I am not Korean or Asian. I have to change my way of thinking all the time from what my parents did

  7. Kerry C on Friday 4, 2013

    I think everything about children gets much easier after five when you can really talk to them about what is important. I think working out the language now will serve you well later. I read an article in Parenting magazine that was talking about never saying no to your kids which I think is crazy. As if they will never hear the word NO in life? What would be the point of this.

  8. Don's mom on Friday 4, 2013

    I’ve been watching Numb3rs all weekend and I really feel like the show suffered without you. I can see that you left for big things but I loved it best when you were on.

  9. Diane Farr on Friday 4, 2013

    thanks Paul Ryan. I never liked being in the JCPenny shot, or what they looked like afterwards. Being grown up I avoid it relentlessly. df

  10. Diane Farr on Friday 4, 2013

    thank you Alice, send the book to her and maybe she can share it with her parents. df

  11. Diane Farr on Friday 4, 2013

    I think I am an honorary Korean myself!! thanks, df

  12. Diane Farr on Friday 4, 2013

    hi sarah, if my parents did there job perfectly as parents, I never would have had kids because they would have warned me how exhausting and thankless the gig is. but, here we are! thank you for writing. df

  13. Nicole Baugh on Friday 4, 2013

    Diane, you remember that Cheerios ad with an adorable little and her white mom and black dad?! And the controversy surrounding it?! I didn’t see anything wrong with it. It’s only a commercial. Here’s this website you can check out. It’s called “We Are the 15 Percent”: I saw this and thought ‘Diane would be so happy’. :)

  14. Diane Farr on Friday 4, 2013

    i love the cheerios ad and i’m sure the cheerios people love the ad beyond there wildest dreams. all the conversation helps, i think. df