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by TRUE CUDDLES on AUGUST 15, 2011

“I think I’m beyond a social butterfly and I am more of a social bumble bee, leading with my stinger!”

True Cuddles met with Diane Farr, a mom of three (Beckett, Coco and Sawyer) with ten jobs (including actress, writer and mom) to chat about exactly how she does it all. You might recognize Diane Farr, Los Angeles mompreneur, from her star roles in “Californication,” “Rescue Me,” “Numb3rs,” and MTV’s “Loveline.” These days she is finding balance between motherhood and her newest book Kissing Outside the Lines, where she talks openly about the challenges of being in an interracial relationship with a Korean American husband. The New York Times describes her as someone who “looks like Barbie, but talks like Ken.” True Cuddles asks Diane just how she became such a master at juggling it all, while continually starting new projects (such as her newnationally syndicated newspaper column). Read on to be truly inspired and get ready to take a nap just thinking about all the things she’s running around doing.

1. Tell us a little about yourself. - As a writer I suppose I should be looking out at the world and making a comment, but as an actress I like to get right in there. I think I’m beyond social butterfly and I am more of a social bumble bee, leading with my stinger.

2. What television family does your own family most resemble? - I’m not sure if I’m happy or sad to say, we don’t really look like any TV families. Check out our photo and see for yourself … I’m curious to see what others think.

3. How did your business begin? - When I was the host of Loveline on MTV (15 years ago) I wrote my first book. I was writing for women’s magazines regularly because of my talk show platform, but I was really frustrated with how magazines portrayed women. My first book, The Girl Code, was a retort to the publishing world saying, “We’re funnier and dirtier than you’re giving us credit for.” The Girl Code was a hit and then I got to use my special writing powers for good – not just evil – telling fellow females what products they needed to be better, smarter, prettier.

4. If you had to describe your business in less than 15 words, how would you do it?-I’m in the business of humanity. I portray people and write about them, commenting on society.

5. What is your inspiration for your business? – I began writing my latest book when I was pregnant with my second and third children (twins) because when I was dating my husband there was a lot of drama with his family (they did not want him to marry outside of his race and culture). I wanted to work through all those feelings in a humorous way before I had more kids and those feelings started to leak all over them – in a not so humorous way.

6. Describe your biggest success and how you knew that you were going to make it.- I interviewed 25 couples around the country for the book, many in mixed race marriages and many people who are mixed race themselves, born between 1970 and 1990. Each person had so many similar, heartwarming and heart breaking stories, that I knew there was this little prejudice no one was talking about. And it was about love. It was the secret conversation that even educated, progressive, kind parents were having with their children sometime around age 10-13: about who was worthy of their love based on race. It was this remaining prejudice that we were not discussing as a society, even after the inauguration of Barack Obama. And with all of that homework done, I wrote my latest book, Kissing Outside the Lines, very very quickly. It almost wrote itself.

7. Tell us about your typical ‘work’ day.- My work day is not for the faint of heart, but I have three kids under four years old, and ten jobs. If I’m sitting on a set as an actress, I will get up between 5 and 6 am and stay on set often till 8 or 9 pm. And those are the easy days! (16 hours on a set is like a walk in the park compared to 16 hours at home with three toddlers.) When I’m writing, I wake with the kids at 6 am, get them off to school by 8:30 am and write from the second they leave until noon. Then I’m in meetings from noon until 5, after which I meet the kids back at home for 5-8 pm and then head to my office for more writing. It ain’t pretty but it keeps me sane.

8. What is the most rewarding thing about being a mom-preneur?- It proves that ambition does not fly out of the vagina with the birth of your child. I love being a mother but during the times when I tried to let it entirely define me, I didn’t do the mothering job so well.

9. And, what is the most challenging?- Scheduling.

10. What keeps you motivated?- My preschool bill!

11. What is your next big goal?- To spend more time dating my husband. I just wrapped a movie as an actress and I’m currently on a book tour and when I get home I’m writing a new film. What I miss most is feeling like my husband is my boyfriend and I want to focus on that next.

12. What is your guilty pleasure? - I’m yearning to travel through Nepal but the kids are too small. So I’m trying to figure out a week in Barcelona with them. Pray for me, because I’m not bringing any pack n plays and this could get ugly.

13. Name a product that you cant live without for you or your baby?- Two very beautiful, very necessary, Bratt Décor cribs. My girls are almost three and I cry at the thought of them getting out of those cribs. First it means I won’t have any more babies. And second it means I’m not going to sleep for six weeks to six months.

14. What advice would you give to someone considering becoming a mom-preneur and what is the most valuable lesson you have learned as a mom {so far}?- Know that every time you ask a fellow mom for advice, you’re not getting the whole story. Every mom edits their path to success as a mother, as well as their child’s developmental history to the story they remember – which may have nothing to do with the truth. So don’t judge yourself by their tale. I think we as moms all re-write our kids sleep patterns, eating patterns, potty training schedule, walking schedule and all the rest because we are exhausted and have no short term memory…and because we romanticize each period as we are finished with them. So when another mom seems to be bigger, better, smarter than you, remember she may not be fooling you but she really might be fooling herself. So don’t be losing sleep over some other ladies insecurity.

 



  1. Radka on Friday 19, 2011

    Thank you very much Diane! It is very inspirational and enriched me. Thank you again and color photo is very beautiful.

  2. Nicole on Friday 19, 2011

    Another brilliant never before seen color photo of you and your kids. So precious.

  3. Eui Hyun Eddie Kim on Friday 19, 2011

    By the way, do you have any plans to adopt Korean people? I could see that Korean people used to get adopted for sometime to United States and other countries.

  4. Diane Farr on Friday 19, 2011

    Thanks for your note but I have no plans to adopt any children. I have a lot of small children that I can barely handle. and I mean barely. df