And so it is with all the kids I know. Many have location names from a place they do not hail from. Like the young New Yorker I know named Raleigh and a Mexican-American preschooler I know called Havana — and their friends London, Lima, Berlin, India and Asia. Then there are the gender-backward names for girls like James, Frankie, Parker, Michael and Elliot, as well as the growing trend in showing off your highbrow English lit or art history degree by naming your baby Daschle, Harper, Emerson, August, Matisse, Tristan or Rosalind.
And before my dearest friends get angry with me—I’m shouting out these monikers because every one of them was on my consideration list for my three children. Nor did I stray from the concepts. One of my daughters is named Coco—not after the designer, but an island in the Maldives where we discovered our pregnancy. That pregnancy turned out to be a boy, so we named him Beckett since I have my own useless drama degree. And my littlest girl is called Sawyer after my father, Tom.
These are the names that I deemed sensible “enough”—although they are not sensible at all. My in-laws speak English as a second language and I knew they would inevitably call my son “Bucket.” Which they do. As well as “Becky” and even “Jacket” once.
But how far is too far? According to The Week, a Brazilian man went to court after authorities refused to let him name his daughter after Fyodor Dostoyevsky and Martina Navratilova. They refused to register “Isabelle Nahvratinovski” because the name was “too strange and would subject her to embarrassment.” Which seems obvious to me but ease in understanding and avoiding ridicule was never my direct goal in picking names.
Yet, if originality was my intent then I also failed. I cringe at least once a week, when I hear another mom yell for her Beckett, Coco or Sawyer at the park. And dare any of us admit that we considered a name from a hit movie? My youngest daughter’s middle name is Trinity. I longed for this name (for my third child) for several reasons but had to hope her birth was far enough away from The Matrix that people wouldn’t think it was one of them.
I’m not alone, though. Three of the most popular names of 2009 were the main characters in the Twilight franchise. Even a supporting character, Cullen, has moved onto the most common list—but that’s also Irish and don’t we all know an Aemen, Siobhan, Declan or Limerick. As well as a name in another language, on a child that doesn’t speak that language—like Dolce (meaning “sweet” in Italian), Suchari (meaning “sweet” in Swahili) and Zusa (meaning “sweet” in Yiddish). My kids play with one of each of them.
My own barometer for “too out there” in a name has always been imagining my children at their first job interview. When they reach out to shake the hand of their possible employer, will they be laughed out if they have to say “Hello, I’m Rhiannon/Blue/Cloud/Apple.” I fear even a Harvard degree won’t outshine these social enigmas.
But now that I’m done procreating, I’m planning to call the dog my children will eventually want with all of the names my husband refused me for them. So don’t be mad if Dante Allegra Brooklyn runs away from me and craps on your lawn. She’s just a bitter “female dog.”
(Diane Farr is known for her roles in “Californication,” “Numb3rs” and “Rescue Me,” and as the author of “The Girl Code.” You can read her blog at getdianefarr.com, follow her on twitter.com/getdianefarr or contact her on facebook.com/getdianefarr.)
COPYRIGHT © 2010 DIANE FARR
DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.
Wow, some of those names I have NOT run across. Of course I’m living in KS and people here don’t go too far out on names. I gave my son my maiden name as his first name. Davis. Never heard it before as a first name and the minute he’s in school here are at least 4 more.
Beckett, Sawyer and Coco are cool names. One of your daughter’s middle name is Lucia. How did you come up with that one? Lucia is beautiful.
Ian Genevieve and Nathan. I only got to pick the middle and as an irishman it woulve been hardcore irish as that is pretty much all we have in any redeeming way, unless you prefer drunken guys with bad teeth and small cocks. Zen, Madaket (after a beach in Nantucket) and Reflection are some of the worst I have heard lately..keep up the great work, D
Brendan
Do they call him “Bucket” if he’s not feeling well and is a little pale??? (somebody please stop me)
had the same experience with all of my names too Chris!
Lucia was the name of an Italian Opera singer. I’m half Irish and half Italian so we tried to work it all in. df
I like all your Isihs names and Madaket is kinda interesting… Reflection is really tough though!!
Oh Dan Mackey. I know a couple who almost named their son Beckett but didnt because they knew their in-laws would pronounce it Bucket also. I wonder if that makes them better parents than me.
Sawyer Lucia Chung and Coco Trinity Chung. They flow really well.
Thank you, Mom and Dad, for giving me and my sister the same initals — NMB. LOL!!
I just read this article to “John” and we were laughing until we cried! Damn I love reading your stories!
Diane Farr, you’re a genius!
Angus MacIntyre- If they would just get this Angus beef phase to die down, I think we’ll be good. Until then, the only thing he can get personalized with him name are the napkins from Arby’s!
My daughter’s name is Llusion Nyghtshade. I like unusual names though… if i have more girls they will be Atreia and Celescia, i would name a boy Orin.
I’ve met a few girls named Anarchy and one named Tree.
Sawyer Lucia Chung and Coco Trinity Chung are nice names.
I think you’re a great parent. At least you didn’t go the Zappa route with Moon Unit, Dweezil and what was the otherone??? Zeppo? no, now I’m doing the Marx Bros. which is showing my age. I think you are on our way to being the Erma Bombeck for this generation though probably even better than that.
Dan
hee hee. I’m so glad. I figured if i threw myself under the bus, maybe no one else would be mad that I took them with me!
hey this lovely lady calling me a genius is the woman behind Weelicious.com – which is the only place i get any recipe from. started out for just my kids, and now it controls my life. she also happens to be the star of this article who’s brother father and husband are all named john!!
so funny cindy! when I think Angus I think Angus young. I had a co-worker who named his son Axel. i prayed it was for axl rose, but alas it’s a swedish grandfather or something.
I might have bought in until you said you knew a FEW girls named Anarchy. It’s all about the editing space-boy
when i was writing these articles, i could not think of Sawyer’s middle name for almost an hour. almost had to call the husband and confess. then it came. phew. df
Thank you Dan, I am a philistine and have not read anything Erma Bombeck but will!
My sister and I are so different when it comes to kids’ names. My sister, who is 4 years younger than me, wants to name her kids after either Mother Nature (Summer, Phoenix, Rain, etc.) or hippie names. Me, on the other hand, would like to name my kids after places around this beautiful planet (Sydney, Asia, London, Rome, Austin, etc.).
another great article that had me laughing at the part where your in-laws mispronouced your son’s name. I get why people don’t want to give their children common names because those names are used repeatedly. Case in point, throughout my 31 years I have known 5 or 6 Melissa’s, 3 or more John’s and countless Jason’s. So some of these uncommon names that I hear about make me laugh, no offense!
No offense taken at all Tara! my point is that “common names” have become totally uncommon now… and creative names are duplicating themselves everywhere thus rendering them… not so creative and still difficult to pronounce, figure out the gender of a child or why these little people were named after places they are obviously not from. it’s a cycle that me and everyone i know is kind of caught in
You are so funny….love the article, I am currently looking after Hana, Nova and Hogan (yes triplets) just to add to your list
My sister and I have same initals: NMB! My sister’s full name is Natalie Megan Baugh and mine is Nicole Michelle Baugh. Mom picked our names just because they flow well.
i like a family with the same initials. but no using initials on your stuff growing up huh??
not even the first Nova I’ve heard of in the past three years. hogan really might be tough in a few years. Hoping to god he is a boy at least…
Wow! I looked on http://www.weelicious.com and I must a recipe to try and I haven´t child. Those recipes look so good. And I have one recipe for your family. I hope that you like it, because in our family celebrating success.
BLACKBERRY PIE with CREAM CHEESE
170 g flour
120 g butter
500 g curd
62 g sugar
blackberry or other fruit (apple, raspberries, blueberries,…)
2 egg white and 2 egg yolk
6 g baking powder
about 2 spoon milk and butter with flour to form
Softened butter with sugar wipe and add the egg yolks. Rub the mixture into curd and dilute milk. Mix gently. Add the flour, baking powder and mix well. Preheat oven to 160 ° C. Whip egg whites into the lead and gently rub into the dough. Will transfer into the form of fruits and treasures that poprášíme little flour to forfeited. Bake about 30 minutes.
Pie is good with raisins and sliced almonds. Enjoy your meal.
Radka
True.
!! Oh, I´m sorry. !250 G CURD!
Hi Diane
Love to read your blog, Pete turned me onto it. Our daughter is Grace Evella Maw and our son is Sawyer Streed Maw. Grace’s middle name is a combination of my grandmas Evelyn and Luella, and Sawyer’s middle name is my maiden name, meaning warrior in Swedish. I have a Beckett that goes to my school, he’s a pretty cool kid.
I remember when you had your son and Pete told me you named him Sawyer! I was very excited. i like all your names and making them from scratch definately keeps them original! Looking forward to meeting you someday
Naming children is not an easy task. There are different sides to each coin. On the one hand the name has to “flow” with the surname (sometimes easier said than done).
Parents can too often want to name their child in order to them to stand out. I’ll give you the example of a British friend who named his boys Saxon and Cobi. I can tell you there arent any other Saxon’s or Cobi’s in the town, never mind school, and the kids get plenty of ridicule from the other kids because of it.
On the other hand, choosing a name for its simplicity and popularity can also work against you. I was on of about 10 Steven/Stephen’s in my year at school (both spellings) and my brother had almost as many Christophers, so we had to do other things to stand out from the crowd (if we chose to)
It seems that parents name their kids based on their personality rather than the childs’, so maybe my father was right when he said he wanted to call us Number 1 and Number 2, then when we were old enough we could go and “bloody well choose our own names”
Keep them coming Diane, I always enjoy reading them (and sorry, cant help but comment!)
Steve
Don’t even pretend anyone called you anything onther than Pringle post 6th form. and I love your comment’s and keep em comin’ Pringle!
Most people called me Pringle before 6th form and still do now, or variations of it (even their kids call me Uncle Pringle!). Some things you can never get away from!
hope and change
That is the funniest comment yet. Hope and Change!
Genial Diana Farr…
bom dia,boa tarde,boa noite…
Olá ,fiquei muito sensibilizado ao ler somente agora estes comentários de pessoas que são verdadeiros experts na criação de anedotas sobre o que é hilário.Pois bem : Izabelle Nahvratinovsk i, não é nome,e sim pré-nome.Nós seres humanos possuímos pré-nomes,nomes e sobrenomes.Aqui no Brasil,especificamente onde resido,Tomé-Açú-Quatro-Bôcas-Pará, você pode observar,nos próprios termos que fui obrigado citar por força de eles existirem, mesmo eles não significando absolutamente nada para a maioria do povo brasileiro que se vale de uma forma de comunicação que mais parece um código secreto chamado português(O idioma que se fala aqui no Brasil,é uma salada de várias línguas,dialetos sussurros e grasnados) que nada tem a ver com o tal Português que se diz ser.A justiça no meu pais tem como última instância,uma corte chamada de supremo,onde os ministros empataram ao julgar a aplicação da lei de ficha limpa.Lei esta que pretende tirar os elementos malfazejos e bandidos da lista de candidatos a cargos públicos.Ora se a instancia superior não tem uma opinião objetiva sobre o que é certo ou errado,porque se disse nos noticiários que a lei está preocupada com a integridade moral de minha filha?Na localidade onde moro a autoridade judicial não mora como prescreve a constituição federal(Carta Magna) temos um defensor público para um universo de aproximadamente 60.0000 habitantes,nossas florestas foram devastadas,pistoleiros são figuras públicas e notórias,a grande maioria de nossos professores são comprometidos com a política partidária e inimigos daqueles que não comungam com suas ideologias.Pessoas já ficaram presas neste País por terem o seu pré-nome nome e sobrenome homônimo de foragido.Então peço aos humoristas de plantão que riam de minha criação quanto ao pré-nome :Izabelle Nahvratnovski , que com certeza é muito engraçado ante essa desgraça toda que muitos de nós brasileiros vivenciamos.Minha filha sei que estará preservada destes males que sofrem as Marias e Joãos de minha pátria amada Brasil.Pelo menos até completar a idade em que poderá solicitar mudança de pré-nome.Walter Carvalho de Almeida (O Pai palhaço,segundo os humoristas intelectuais do mundo contemporâneo) Abraços…